i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
