that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
