Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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