who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
