Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
