now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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