remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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