the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
