I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
