its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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