But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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