I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
