But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
