I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I died a long time ago.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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