i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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