I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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