Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
