is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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