check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
