Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
