Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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