Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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