The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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