Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
