do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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