Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Randomize
