the new term for farting is butt boxing.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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