i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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