Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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