If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's blow job season.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
