i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
