I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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