The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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