Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
