Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
