Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize