he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
