and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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