i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
