So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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