i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
