Me. At least after what I've been through.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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