I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize