Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
