I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
