so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize