yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
