Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
