Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
