so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
