Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
