do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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