Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
