Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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