just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
