Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
