I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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