But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
