I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
